And It Shall Come
by demon-slave92
Summary: this story follows HBP a little bit but then I make a few changes. The rest will be of my own invention. Follow Harry on an adventure of a life time: Voldemort is Harry Hunting, Harry's Horcrux Hunting, and Cho's trying to figure out her place.
1. I Can't Hear You

AN: after Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.

Disclaimer: don't own. Not saying again.

Chapter one

There he went again, this time laughing so deeply and earnestly. He was sitting at the Gryffindor table with his two best friends…and new girl friend. Ginny Weasley, red hair, medium height, pale skin that brought out her freckles not to mention that famous Weasley temper. She sat next to him at their table, he was laughing at a joke Ginny had just made; his arm loosely around her shoulder, bringing her close; she didn't seem to mind. Down seats away was Dean; staring angrily into his lunch.

And here I am, sitting at my table watching him for – what, the sixth time in the past twenty minutes? I'm sitting at the Ravenclaw table, comprehending nothing around me. I didn't notice Marietta as she tried talking to me about something or another, I didn't notice Michael as he slipped his arm around my waist but I did notice when Ginny turned her head and look up at me.

It was a look of wonder and resentment, did she resent me? Why? She had nothing to complain about; she had the boy she had loved for so many years, while I had lost him before anything could be ventured, before I could even get to know him! I thought as I had been doing for the past months; I knew nothing about him. While she had his love, attention and time. She made him happy and that was what counted, not that I had gotten to his heart first or that I had been his first kiss, all that really mattered was who would be his last.

From where I was looking, Ginny was number one. He would die protecting her, and I would watch. They would defeat He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, get married, have kids, live in the perfect house, have the perfect kids, and die together. They would be happy were as all I would have are old memories and tear filled regrets.

My gaze became misty and I cried. Right there; in the middle of the great hall, like I had done so many times before, I cried. Only Michael and Marietta noticed since they were closer. My gaze fell on Michael's worried face; what do I see in you? My eyes shouted at him. I turned to Marietta, another person I constantly wonder why about. Why had she betrayed Harry and most importantly me? I turned back to Michael.

"I want to breakup," and I left. Heads turned in my direction, even the one that matter most, then I noticed Ginny's pointing. I rolled my eyes; I was much prettier than her. I would get over Harry, for he had gotten over me. I walked to the Ravenclaw dormitory and went to bed without a second thought.

It had been a day or two since she had cried in the Great Hall and people were still talking about it. It wasn't nearly as big as Harry Potter dating Ginny Weasley but they still talked about it; if only because they were bored. Cho sighed as she made a left and then a right; she was going to visit the room of requirements again. She didn't particularly need any thing from the room. Sometimes she just likes to stand outside the room and think.

She would slouch on the opposite wall and think of the kiss that she had shared with Harry. Not the worlds best kiss but at least it's one she'll always remember. Then again, who could forget a kiss by Harry Potter?

She was almost reaching when she saw him, weird. It had would be the first time she saw him this close since the glance they didn't share in the train. How long ago was that? He stared startled at her, green eyes wide with shock. She smiled, paused in mid step and stuffed her hands into her pockets.

"Hey you," she said and moved closer.

"Yeah," he nodded and stepped to the side, leaning against the wall staring up at the ceiling. Cho looked hesitant but after a few moments of silence went to the opposite wall and sat on the ground.

"What brings you here?" she knew he most likely wouldn't answer her or rather he would evade the question and not give a real answer.

"Nothing, just passing through," he too sat on the floor and added "you?" as an after thought.

"I…was on my way to the room of requirements, for old time's sake," she added at his sharp look. It made her feel uneasy; the look was filled with question and mistrust. Harry nodded his head and turned away, they sat in silence for a few seconds and Cho got up dusted herself off, Harry followed. She looked at him in surprise and looked away. They stood in awkward silence and was getting to both of them, she could tell.

"I'll…see you around Harry?" she asked and started walking towards the Great Hall.

"Cho, Wait!" she turned and waited for him to catch up.

"Yes Harry?"

"Stay away from the room of requirements. Okay, just listen to me," he said as he opened her mouth to protest.

"Something weird is happening at school this year; it all just seems out of place. I think someone is doing something in that room and if I'm right you shouldn't be near it. Just promise you won't go near it," he asked, almost impatient.

"I'll go where ever I choose, thank you!" he rolled his eyes and walked forward stopping after a few paces and turning to her.

"Don't go near the room, as a friend; I'm asking you to trust me," this time Cho rolled her eyes but nodded none the less.

"Come on, lets get you out of here," he said as he held out his hand for her. She took it and smiled at him; they made their way to the Great Hall together and stopped at the entrance.

"Well, see you when I see you," and with that Harry dropped her hand and walked inside. Cho stared at her hand for a few seconds and continued back up the stairs and to the Ravenclaw dormitory.

Harry sat at the Gryffindor table and waited for Cho to enter the Great Hall; she didn't. He wasn't too worried, after being friends with Hermione all these years he knew girls could take care of themselves. He was greeted with friendly hellos, waves, and batting of eyes lashes by the girls and a kiss on the cheek by Ginny; life at Hogwarts was looking great.

He knew he should get over the fact that Malfoy was in the room of requirements; doing god knows what but he couldn't; he wanted to be right; simple as that. Malfoy was up to something and until he found out what it was, no one was safe.

He smiled at everyone and grabbed anything within reach. He shoved food into his mouth and listened to the conversations around him. Hermione and Ron were arguing about something, again. Lavender was a few seats downs, glaring at them. He rolled his eyes and focused his attention to Ginny.

She looked so pretty, swirling her soup around with her spoon, every once in a while taking a sip and continuing. Harry smiled; the beast inside him purred silently with satisfaction. He turned his attention away from Ginny to his hand; it tingled with heat from where he had held Cho's hand. He blushed and looked away.

He shouldn't have held her hand, he was with Ginny. There was no doubt about the way he felt for Ginny; the animal inside him made sure there was nothing to doubt with its possessiveness and…what else? Now that he thought about it the beast inside him only showed possessiveness, nothing else. Did that mean he had only wanted Ginny because she was had been with Dean? No! But- no, damns it! He doubted his feelings.

"Guys, I've got some homework to finish, see you later," Hermione beamed at him and Ron groaned, obviously not looking forward to his load. Ginny nodded and stood to give him a quick kiss on the lips; he smiled and waved goodbye.

He went up the marble stair case and went to bed. It was time he went to bed early one of theses days; watching out for Malfoy, studying and avoiding girls took a lot of him.

She didn't see him as much as she would have liked to in the next couple of days. But then again, they never really did talk that much. Then one day, Death eaters are attacking the school and everyone fears for their life. There was nothing she could have done; she felt guilty. The few hours after were the hardest to live through: they kept saying things like

"Dumbledore's dead…"

"Harry Potter was with Dumbledore before he died…"

"Snape did it!"

"We all knew the git was bloody evil!"

Most of the stories held the same basic ideas. After hearing the one about Harry being with Dumbledore Cho almost had a heart attack. To hear that he could have been killed made her heart stop for one second and caused her great pain. One hand to her heart, mouth slightly open, she felt like…it couldn't be explained but she never wanted to feel that way, ever.

She didn't get to take her N.E.W.T., everyone was not tested because of dumbledore's death. Everything considered normal was forgotten, with Dumbledore's funeral only an hour away. She would most likely redo her last year, if Hogwarts was still open. She hoped it was, she didn't know what she would do with her life if she didn't have Hogwarts.

She couldn't become a Quidditch player because that just wasn't what she wanted anymore; the game had lost all its fun and charm. The air that had once seduced her was gone; the mystery would die the moment she left Hogwarts: the mystery of why being so high would make her Adeline rush way pasts it's limits, why matching another seeker would make her heart beat ten times faster.

Those feelings were something she got from Hogwarts and nothing could compare to Hogwarts but what was Hogwarts without Dumbledore? He made the school what it was for years, all the mystery revolved around that man and him alone. Cho sighed and continued to pack her things. She came across some old school work she forgot to hand in, ten multicolored quills, and her old dairy. She flipped through it and stopped any time something interesting popped out at her.

_Sunday_

**_He's on my mind constantly! Theses feelings get annoying but most times it nice to know I can feel these things. I wonder if he ever thinks about me, weird thing to ask but I wonder what it would be like to talk to him again. All of over conversations ended in a fight and that must mean something because I like fighting with him. _****_When ever we fight it means we have to make up; I'm usually apologizing but that's okay; I usually start the fight. _**

****

**_I woke up today and he was the first thing on my mind. Then I started day dreaming again: mostly about what our future would be like. In this day dream we had two kids, TWINS! Isn't that cute! They were the cutest babies ever, with his vivid green eyes, my hair and both of our seeker ability: they were just perfect!_**

Cho looked the entire page over and continued on, stopping to look at a poem she had written.

_Friday_

**Endless River **

_An endless river of tears that end at four, my heart clinches and I want to cry but only four tears come; They're cold and don't feel real, why? Forced to be real, they slip away, as I slip away from you. As the urge to cry a real cry becomes desperate I am saddened. Deep, heavy, uneven and painful breaths are taken and the tears come again, then…nothing. They stop and I think of you._

_I think of how much I wish you'd hold me, touch me, and talk with me. I write and I talk but you don't listen! I want you to understand; why don't you understand? These tears are for you, these fickle things, feeling cold against my skin, are for you! They gush and stop at four then they continue._

_They blind me until I will myself to blink them away, until I tell myself "they're not real" over and over again. It seems like each night I wait for the tears and each night I wish they were real; maybe then I can get over you. But they come in rivers of four…then….nothing._

_They sparkle brightly, contrasting with my feelings. I always thought you knew me but I guess not; was I always invisible? Have I changed from that quiet girl you knew? Have I blossomed into something more? Or am I still that speck among the rest trying to get attention? No, I'm the girl with tears in rivers of four; don't you see me cry out to you with my eyes?_

_They plead with you to say something; they scream with rage, wanting attention. I need it, just to know where I stand. The tears are slowly pilling up and now I'm in a puddle, drowning even so. I search for you; "save me" my mind pleads, come back but it's too late and your gone; another face in the crowd; your arm around a female's shoulder. All the while the tears come in a river of four._

_There they go again; feeling so cool against my skin. Then I start to wonder; would it drive you mad to have these feelings for me, these deep and powerful feelings, would you die if it had been you who watched ME flirt with many different boys, getting over one and then moving on to the next; never spearing you a glance? And this time, the four tears of a river never come, instead a heavy feeling pulls my heart and I can't breathe…_

**AN. Yay! I have been reading Harry and Cho fan fictions and I love that coupling. I have been writing over the summer and have been taking notes. This came to me a few days ago and I love it. It's not done but I just thought I'd get it out there. I wrote the poem about a boy I was in love with; I actually wrote it…9/8/06. it was a Friday, last Friday to be precise. **

**I thought I was in love with the boy but he didn't like me that way. He thought I was smart, just "not his type" as he told my friend. Garr. Well, I'm getting over him and I thought I'd use some of the stuff I wrote about him in my stories. Oh, I used parts of my diary to make Cho's diary entry…yes, I had a day dream about two brown eyed babies…sue me!**

**Ps. don't' care about grammar, as long as I get my point across; so please don't come and review and start bitching about grammar. If I miss spell a word tell, cause then It bug the hell out of me when I reread it on fan fiction and I see a word misspelled. Grr, it annoys me so damn much.**


	2. What A Waste

_Disclaimer: I don't own, sorry but I won't say again, I'm that lazy._

_**Chapter 2**_

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_Hmm. What a waste_, I think to myself. _Such a good body, great brains but he's not Harry._ His curly flaxen hair, dark chocolate eyes, six foot frame and charm that would make a girl do the craziest thing he was still missing something: _Captivating green eyes, messing black hair, a cute nose, everything Harry Potter. _I smiled at some stupid joke he made, _who_ _in Merlin's name finds muggle pears tickling a pirate funny? Someone who hasn't had their pear tickled in a while_. I giggle at my own joke; he smiled. _What an egomaniac, then again, what else would I be laughing at, the baby carrot stuck in his teeth?_

I smiled as he and I left the restaurant. He held my hand without even asking, at least Harry would have considered what I would have thought if he had held my hand. I shook my head; I have to stop doing that: everything I did made me think back to Hogwarts, to Harry and to my old self. It had been about two months since I saw Harry last, that day near the room of requirements. _I still feel giddy when ever I think about that day, I can't help it._

I look at my hand, our fingers intertwined; his hold was a bit tight: I'm not going to say anything. This date was a mess in my opinion_. He was too clingy, he had bad jokes, and he… just isn't what I'm looking for. Plus I've already for gotten his name. That's it: I'm a horrible person._

"Umm, I have this thing I need to take care of, so…I– have to–go…" I said, taking my hand out of his.

"Oh, okay. I'll talk to you later then? Or maybe I could help you with what you need to take care of," He said_. Wow, this guy just doesn't know when to quit_. I shook my head and started walking backwards.

"No, I'm leaving to visit a friend out of town and she hates strangers. I had a really nice time though; just phone me tomorrow," I said with a smile. I hate people not liking me in any form. _Why did I even go out with this muggle?_ I walked as fast I could in my new shoes and skirt, muggle London was really nice at night, not.

It was scary, so many sounds, it was loud and smelly. The restaurant he took me to was nice and quiet, I guess I'm too much of a Ravenclaw. I continued to walk down the street, trying to look as comfortable in the neighborhood as I could. I sighed, another date ruined: my second this month.

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She walked to a corner of the street and walked in an alley way then Apparated to her home. Cho kicked off her shoes and dropped her hand bag on the floor; she'd pick them up in the morning. She then made her way to her bath room, washing off her make up. She then went into her bed room and fell face forward into her bed and tried to stop thinking about how drained she was.

She didn't know why she said yes to what's-his-name but she found she didn't have the heart to say no. that had always been her problem, she was a people pleaser and everyone knew it. It had been almost two months since she left Hogwarts and since then she had moved out of her mother's house and moved into muggle London. Her mother had helped get her a loan with the muggle bank since she knew nothing of the wizarding world–being muggle and all. With the loan she had bought a house and moved in, all in the last month. Sometimes she felt alone and she loved it, she was an adult; her own person. Then there were times when she felt alone and it scared her; she had always lived with someone else, whether it was her mother and father or her dorm mates.

Her father worked for the ministry in the department of mysteries: he worked when ever they called him in and he never really had time to bond with her once she started Hogwarts so she would miss him and her mother the most. She hadn't had any contact with her old friends and for that she was glad because right now she was in a place where she didn't need any distractions.

She was still looking for a job, she didn't really need one now because before she was born a fund was already started to help her when she got out of school, whether it be Hogwarts or a muggle college: her mother never did like to leave thing unfinished. She had an account with the wizarding bank and the muggle one so she wasn't too worried about money but she needed something to occupy her time; other than late night pondering.

She looked at her right and looked at her clock: twelve fifty seven. She sighed, no wonder she never woke up before eleven AM. She rolled on her back and fell into a deep sleep. The next morning she was awoken at nine AM by an owl, a crazy owl by the way he crashed into her window. She felt really sorry for it, it looked old and weather beaten. She took the embroidered red envelope and got a bowl and filled it with water.

She then put it on the kitchen table and watched as the bird drank appreciatively. She looked at the front of the envelope and took in its appearance; it had the letter F with a B hanging on it as a wax seal. It looked very important but who would be writing to her? She barely got regular muggle mail. On the back was a post it; her mother most likely.

_Dear Cho,_

_How is everything? The house is still to your liking? You haven't written in a few weeks and I was a little worried: you're father has told me something's that has me fretting over your well being. Inside this envelope is a letter to your father, an event is taking place but he can not make it; he was hoping you would go in his place. I have told him wow I feel upon this subject but he says it is your choice and he is right._

_Please write home soon, if only to tell me how your day is going._

_My love always,_

_Mother_

Cho looked at the envelope with a frown on her face; _why would papa want me to go in his place?_ She broke the seal and pulled out a red and gold invitation. She skimmed the invitation and burned with anger; she would not go. Suddenly her stomach rumbled and she felt a small pain before it went away: breakfast time.

She angrily made her way to her kitchen and began to make breakfast. She took out three eggs, flour, and pancake mix. She whisked the eggs in an angry fury, spilling some of it on the counter. How dare they? _They should know me better that! Why would I willingly attend a wedding where the love of my life would most likely be—with his girlfriend no less? Mama how could you!_

She stops whisking the eggs and added flour, and pancake mix and continues at the same angry pace. _I'm not going. At least mama should know the problems that would cause: Cho Chang at a Weasley wedding? Never. I'd be so humiliated._

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_God this is hard_, I think to myself as I continue with my task. I stomped my foot in irritation as I continued to stir clockwise four times and then added a sprig of bear foot every third stir. I continued with the potion I was making; Flex Felicis. The way Hermione figures, if we can gain an advantage against Voldemort then we should do everything thing in our power to get the upper hand.

I don't know how I feel on the subject of Voldemort or the war at the moment, I'm stuck in this rut of indifference and it won't go away. I rarely get excited anymore, the fact of the matter is not why I'm "in the downy dumps" as Hermione says but that there's nothing to get excited about. I know I'm not depressed: I have every right to be but I'm not.

Something about Dumbledore's death took something away from, life wasn't fair. It took so many great people away from me; just as everything in my life was beginning to get good it always turned sour! After I found out I had a godfather and may be living with him: the only proof of my godfather's innocence escaped. When I thought for once I was going to have a peaceful year at school something messes that up.

At least I won't have to worry about that this year—though the thought of never seeing Hogwarts again brings sadness to my senses. _It'll be for the better, every cloud has a sliver lining,_ I got to stop listening to Hermione.

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Harry looked to the left of him and say Hermione working on her Flex Felicis and Ron sitting next to her; preferring to stay by Hermione's side rather than ruin the effort by doing something disastrous to the potion. He turned back to his potion and stared in horror, he missed a count. Was he on two or three?

He turned his large eyes over to Hermione; head down, hair everywhere, muttering under her breath, then back to his potion. He did that a few more times and debated with himself.

_Tell her!_

_She'll die!_

_Maybe she can save it…_

_Do you have a death wish?_

_I can't d—never mind. Just do it, stupid._

_I don't know._

_Have I ever led you astray?_

_Well—_

_After all I've done for you: helping you out with getting Ginny, pushing you to study_, **giving you the nerve to ask Cho Chang to the Ball, damn it! Listen to me!**

"What—bloody hell!" Harry screamed. Hermione, loosing her concentration, looked up in fright and spilt some of her potion. She cursed colorfully and glared at Harry, crossed her arms and began to tap her foot in annoyance; Harry grinned sheepishly.

"What!" Hermione shrieked in frustration.

"Umm—I messed up, I lost count," Harry said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"How long ago was that?" Harry looked everywhere but Hermione: Ron, the large clock in the Black Home to Ginny (she greeted him with a shake of her head).

"About two minutes ago—I love you!" Harry yelled the last part out and opened his arms to hug Hermione; she began to back away.

"Six months, Harry! It takes six months to make this potion; we are now a month behind, on both potions! Congratulations!" she walked over to Harry's enlarged cauldron and pushed the now brown substance on the floor; it spread to the floor and stuck to their shoes. Hermione walked up the stairs and into the room she shared with Ginny.

_She took that rather well._

_Ah, shut the fuck up._

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**AN: chapter is over! Sorry this took so long; even as I type this I'm sleepy. School takes a lot out of me so everyday I'm really tired but I try to write at least one or two sentences a day. Last chapter was really weird; Fan fiction didn't put the lines where I wanted them. It annoyed me. As you know this is Harry and Cho's point of view and that's how I want to keep it, for now at least. **

**Key points in the story: if I told you I'd take the fun out of it.**

**The last line "_Ah, shut the fuck up."_ Is a favorite line me and my friend Sarah like to say so I thought I'd put that in there. **

**Harry is talking to himself, inside his head, something I do all the time. Tell me what you think. Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter! There's a special huggle for you in my heart.**


	3. Lips Of An Angel

**And It Shall Come**

_Chapter 3_

_**Lips of an Angel.**_

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I was crazy, I knew it: the sales lady was probably thinking the same thing but was being nice and hiding it, she'd loose her sale—not that I was going to buy it! I mean it's completely natural to go into a bridal store and try on the dresses. I mean they were just there, in the window and I was walking by, who wouldn't be curious? Ravenclaw's are known for their thirst for knowledge; this is like…research, for when I get married.

I sigh as I look at myself in the mirror turning my head this way and that. I put my index finger along my jaw line and frowned; the sales lady took this as a chance to start talking about the other wonderful dresses they had. _Get a clue would you?_

"I need something less—"I look around the white walls and over to the mannequins with beautiful white dresses.

"white." I said after I finished looking.

"Never mind, that's not what I meant. It's just so hard to explain!" I said sadly.

"Well, Ms.–? "

"Chang," I supplied.

"Lovely, just lovely" a smile twisting its way onto her face. This is the time I really take in her appearance. Black pants suit, black vest, black shiny shoes—it was a bit creepy, her swallow cheek bones, shiny brown hair, held up by a red clip. What's up with that? Normally I wouldn't mind looking at someone in black; I dress in black once in a while but come on! The least she could do to look a little professional is wear the required uniform: black was just not her color, it made her look mad and gaunt.

"How about we try the back?" she asked as she held out her hand showing me the way. I shook my head in the negative.

"Sorry but I've spent too much time here already, my mother is waiting," I said as I made my way to the left and into a changing room. The whole building was quite large. The ceiling was what amazed me more than anything. Paintings of women in their gowns on their wedding days Kate, the sales lady, had mentioned that after "my wedding" I should send a picture of me and my husband.

I tried not to laugh as she told me this. I looked around the red and white changing room, too much white for one day. I slipped on my modest dark blue heels after slipping out of the wedding dress, the seventh one I had tried on today. Like all the others it was not what I was looking for—what am I looking for? This was just out of curiosity, nothing else. _I just want to see what it's like to be a blushing bride._

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Cho slipped on her red mid thigh skirt and her button down black blouse. She grabbed her small purse and slung it over her shoulder then began to put the dress into its proper clear bag and walked into the main lobby. She was met with a room of red, bushy brown, blond and messy black hair.

_Oh, shit _Cho thought as she came to a halt and quickly turned around hiding her face to the people she knew she didn't want to see.

"Come on Ginny!" a voice she recognized as Ron's yelled.

"I'm coming! Be patience you prat!" was his reply.

She was slowly moving away, hiding her back with the wedding dress when:

"Ms! Excuse me but could you help us?" a stern yet polite voice asked as a hand tapped her shoulder. She had to think fast, where was Kate?

"I'm sorry but I don't work here," Cho said finally, aware many eyes were on her. Cho turned around and smiled at Mrs. Weasley, bowing to show respect she straightened herself and waited. First to come was shock then that annoyingly fake smile people seem to be wearing when ever she was around. _What did I do to you?_ Cho thought angrily, though now showing it.

She turned to everyone behind Mrs. Weasley, smiled, waved and brings the dress closer to her chest, trying to hide it: she knew the action was useless even before she did it. Why would any girl be in a bridal shop? Cho continued to smile but when it became apparent they were still shocked she cleared her throat in a very umbridge like way and smiled brighter as the teenagers began to check behind them.

"I don't mean to be rude but what brings all of you here, Harry and Ginny finally tying the knot?" Cho said to wake the two Adults, her words were meant with laughs and a glare from Ron. Cho mentally shrugged it off, like she wanted that to happen! The blonde stepped forward and held out her hand.

"My nom est Fleur," oh, that's right. Cho hadn't recognized her, her hair still straight, eyes still blue, what was she missing, that superior attitude that had bugged the hell out of Cho. Cho smiled at the greeting and shook her hand. _When did I become so counterfeit?_

"It's nice to see you again, Fleur. I must be going now," Cho let her hand drop and she took a step toward the door when Harry's voice stopped her.

"Aren't you going to pay for the dress?" he stood next to Ginny, tall and head held high, handsome as ever, green eyes dulled. As Cho took him in she felt her heart beat rise, her lips dry and she had the impression that he wasn't happy with her. _What did I do now? I stayed away from the room!_ She thought bitterly to herself.

Cho shook her head in the negative and went to a near by rack and was going to leave when Kate finally came to do her job, she had four more dresses with her. Cho sighed as she passed the Weasley's without a glance and went straight to me.

"Ms. Chang! There you are. I've found four more fabulous dresses, all in different styles I know you will love. I was thinking you could try—"she was cut of by Cho.

"I told you Kate, I'm leaving, I may come back tomorrow but theses lovely people are here and—need your service," Cho said somewhat unkindly, Kate was bluntly ignoring the Weasley's and they were too—kind to speak up against her. Cho looked over at them and saw Fleur, her eyes darkening in anger. Cho smiled and continued on her way.

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Fleur's voice stopped me, why can't they see how much I want to leave? I don't want to stick around and have a pleasant chat while they find Fleur a perfect dress for her wedding. I turn and look to her.

"Yes?" I asked trying to keep the impatience out of my voice. She smiled and looked around at the Weasley's: we all knew what was coming.

"Who is it you are marrying?" I stare for moments until my heart beat increases and my face turns red. What do I say?

'I'm not getting married; I just like to play dress up' certainly not. I think back to the last time I've ever lied, besides the date last week. I think I was fifteen, I had forgotten to do my homework so I told kind Mr. Flitwick that my mama had taken sick and I was too worried about her welfare to concentrate on school work; I got out of doing homework for a week, I also prayed for Mama's safety for a few weeks.

"Well, I'm not getting married—"at their shocked looks I smiled, a plan coming into my head.

"My mama is very old fashion and very few years she takes me shopping for a wedding dressing and then we go walking around the house in our dresses while we take turns takes pictures. It's all silly fun," I say with a giggle. I waited for them to say something, waited for them to say they believed my lie so I could leave.

"Mum, why don't we every do that?" Ginny asked excitedly, I turned my eyes onto her and felt jealousy swell in my belly. _How dare she steal my fake tradition? Little stealer, isn't anything sacred? First Harry now my tradition, bitch. _

I ignored the fact that I just called her a bitch, in my eyes she is but I'll have to stop abusing people in my head, it's not healthy. No, what's healthy is to keep all my feelings bottled up in side. I could have rolled my eyes at the thought. _Still, she is a bitch._

"Well, I have to go—"

"Where is you're mother?" _oh my god! SHUT THE FUCK UP! Why won't you let me leave_ I asked myself as I looked at Mrs. Weasley who awaited an answer.

"She's sick, I came by my self today but I could not find anything that interested me," a half lie, not bad.

"Well, you should join us, a female would be welcomed," Fleur said with a smile, I was being to question who this girl was. I shook my head, boy I was getting dizzy.

"My mother is waiting to have tea, I haven't seen her in almost two months," Fleur grabbed my hand and drug me deeper into the store.

"Nonsense, this will not take long," and we proceeded to walk through the whole store, the rest of the Weasley's following us at a slower pace. I heard Ginny giggle, my fists tightened and my teeth clenched in an unhealthy fashion: Fleur wiggled her hand free.

"Jealous?" she asked slyly. I glared at her for moment.

"There's nothing to be jealous of," and folded my arms. I stopped at a tall dark skinned mannequin and smiled the first dress to be picked up.

"Kate! This one!" and we walked on after Fleur nodded her approval. Fleur and I continue, no words necessary fashion was our guide and for once I was going to come out on top. Wow, I'm so completive. We walked on, grabbing anything that stood out and handing it to Kate who had gotten out a cart.

Forty six, we found forty six dresses and we were about to try them all on. I was in the zone. I sent Kate away and took out my wand and silently conjured a muggle camera, pictures are worth a thousand words. Fleur went into a changing room and closed the curtains, we waited. Finally she came out and I started snapping away, well, the camera was snapping it's self I was just holding it incase Kate came back.

Fleur did this about twenty times before I ran out of film. I sighed and sat down on one of the many big squashy red cushions in the room and heard Harry's voice next to me, I blushed at his words and then my face turned sour.

"_You're so beautiful, shiny blue eyes, red hair, you look perfect," _so obvious who he was speaking to.

"Good job Cho, you sure came prepared, the camera and everything," Hermione said from the cushion to my right. I smiled.

"my mama and I would do this, doesn't matter who's on the film, Fleur only has one more dress to put on," Hermione looked at me confused.

"You took about forty dresses, fleur couldn't have modeled them all," I nodded my head.

"The rule is to only try on, at the most twenty one dresses per day. I know crazy right?"

"Who wrote—"

"It's unwritten, twenty one is a very lucky number, and also seven," I feel Harry stiffen next to me.

"You okay Harry?" I asked and could not help the helplessness from flowing through my voice.

"Yea, I'm fine: chilly is all," I nodded and turned as Fleur came out.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Lucky number seven, how weird. Who ever thought that up any way? When Cho had said that I had frozen, Horcrux. The Horcux that Voldemort had created, making me fear for Ginny's safety, and then I had to do the most difficult thing I had to do: break up with her. But no matter if had broken up with her, I still had feelings for her, she knew, Hermione knew it, I think even Ron knows it. That's why I couldn't help but tell Ginny how pretty she was a few moments ago.

Meeting Cho Chang in a bridal shop was not the most pleasing thing to have happen to me because sometimes I can still feel the heat of her hands in mine. I kept berating myself for holding her hand, it started all of this and seeing her only made the feelings go a bit deeper, though I haven't a clue what theses feelings are.

Seeing her with a wedding dress in her hand gave me a sick feeling in my stomach, almost like having a few needles stuck in my skin many times just to see if I could feel them. A strange sense of relief had gone through me as she gave her explanation for being here, making me think 'it's a small world'.

Every one in a while I'd look at her while she helped Fleur, she was so focused I knew she wouldn't notice, unlike Ginny who catches me looking at her when ever I do. Cho's hair was in a high pony tail, framing her face nicely, her skirt showed her toned legs—I kept catching myself staring at her legs a lot—and her shirt was pretty cute.

I could almost sigh in frustration, too many emotions, good news; my birthdays coming up! Not, the day I become a legal wizard is the day I start my search for the other Horcuxs, the cup, the locket, the Diary, something of Ravenclaw's, and something of Gryffindor's…and hopefully Voldemort himself.

One go0od thing will come from me turning of age, no more Dursley's. Oh, happy day. Although I should probably warn them that Voldemort may try to come and kill them as soon as I'm of age, _I should_. They may not have been the perfect family but they we're family, and like I would do for Ron and Hermione I'll tell them, better sooner than later.

I looked up as Fleur came out, strutting and looking glamorous as she always does and was not shocked that she looked absolutely perfect. They had both picked out wonderful dresses, too bad it had taken about two hours, Ron had complained all through the day saying he was hungry, he was tried, he was a growing boy that needed food and he kept going until Hermione slapped him and walked away in a huff mumbling about stupid prats.

She and Ginny had been very upset when Fleur had invited Cho along, and even more upset when she made her "a female would be welcomed" comment. They had been insulted and no girl liked that, or at least that's the impression I got. After that they both tried to help fleur and were continually out done by Cho, they hated coming here but still acted as if they were having the time of they're lives: girls could be so fickle sometimes, I'll never tell them that but they can be.

I looked around bored out of my mind, lucky Bill, he got to miss this, well he had no choice for two reasons: his face would scare a lot of people and would cause a lot of questions and the other being he was the guy getting married, he wasn't allowed to see the dress, that's messed up! _I don't like shopping!_ I want to be childish and stomp my feet but I don't, instead I look to my right and stare at Cho for a while: no one would notice, they were all too busy staring at fleur, I had to admit, the girls had good taste, I'd never say it but I can think it.

I need to leave this room, fast. I stood and said "I need to use the rest room, be back soon." And was about to leave when Cho stood and said "I'll show you where it is, it's very confusing system they have here," and walked a head of me. _Shoot. I should have expected that._

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

_Wow, that had to have been the best thing to ever happen to me. We kissed, not so surprising, well, maybe a little. _I don't know what made me do it, he was standing their and I moved closer, half listening to him talk about how he needed out of the room, he had no intension of going to the bath room. I stood beside him and moved closer until my breath was on his ear, I've never been that forward before. It shocked him to say the least.

He turned to me and placed his hands on my hips, pulling me to him, my arms made their way around his neck and we stood like that for a while, we didn't really do any thing, just stood in an embrace that would be hard to explain if anyone saw us, which they won't unless they are trying really hard; we had hid in the sewing room.

We had the strangest conversation and I liked it. I apologized for yelling at him in his fifth when it hadn't been his fault and I thanked him for telling about the room of requirements. He nodded, and I felt very awkward but I didn't want to let him go, I've never wanted to hold onto something so badly.

"I lied," I said to Harry.

"About what?" he asked slightly interested.

"I'm not here for my mother; I'm here for myself," I said and put my head on his shoulder, he took his hands off my hips but I stopped him and put them back.

"I came into the store because I had been walking and thought 'what the hell' and tried on some dresses, don't tell," I said, my finger on his lips, I felt his tongue slowly caress my finger, he opened his mouth and my finger went all the way in, he continued to nibble on the edge of my pointer finger while my head stayed on his shoulder.

"That's okay, I'm sure a lot of people have done that," he said with giggles in his voice. I smiled.

"That's what I said to myself but it was just so embarrassing!" I giggled out.

"I understand, I won't tell," I looked up.

"Promise?" I asked and leaned forward, he was about three inches taller than me.

"Promise," and our lips connected, our first real kiss together, it was wonderful. Most people feel something in a kiss, some kind of passion, some relief of some kind but I felt content, just content. It was weird, the way we kissed, our eyes still opened—though I was tempted to close them—lips parted, our tongue battling a slow battle.

His tongue teased mine, slowly and softly until I didn't know what to expect. I played with the ends of his hairs and smiled as I tickled the back of his neck; he stiffened and narrowed his eyes. I rolled mine and traced the top row of his teeth with my tongue. He took my upper lip and nibbled slowly, I did the same to his bottom lips and his hand went under my neck, bring my head closer, and allowing me to feel more content than ever.

Reluctantly I broke the kiss, I really didn't want to but I knew he would beat himself up over this after a while, he always did. I continued to hold him and he too held me.

"Why didn't we ever work out?" I asked, almost wishing he would kiss me again and we'd fly out of the bridal shop together, the sort of thing Superman would do.

"I don't know. It was—complicated, just like my life. You were my first real crush and my first heartbreak," he said into my ear.

"'You always hurt the one you love' my Mama says that," we stood in silence for a while and I asked a question I've thought about for a while.

"Would our babies be cuter with brown eyes, green or a mix of green and brown?" he thought about it for a moment and said.

"Green, we all know my eyes are prettier than yours," he then batted his eyelashes a few times, making me laugh.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**Hello dudes and girl dudes! How was that chapter? You like it? I've been working on it for a few days; I got inspired reading my own work, how great am I? I constantly inspire myself. Joking, but I got the idea from reading the last chapter of this story. Sorry to say that updates may be a little slower now, I'm grounded indefinitely! **

**My friend Sarah and I did something very stupid so now we aren't allowed to go to a dance, which was yesterday and we are suspended form school on Tuesday, Monday being a Jewish holiday. We skipped school, the school found out, told our parents and all we did when they told us they knew we skipped was lie. And laugh, a lot. The school suspended us on the same day, retards. Laugh out loud, I'm only allowed on the computer on the weekends. **

**Really sorry, when I can stop laughing about being suspended, loosing my phone and all my free time after school I'll write. Although my Aunt thinks I'm messed up emotionally and wants me to talk to her, no, not going to happen. I told her I want a therapist and she said she'd look into it. So If I get a therapist I'll tell you guys how that go. Again, realz sorry. **

**Finished: October 1, 2006**


	4. Carry On

He left, or he was leaving, he had turned of age and left the country, he told me so in the letters we had been sending to each other. He had left his owl with the Weasley's for some reason. When I had asked why he was leaving the country he told me it was complicated. I wanted to scream at him, tell him he was being stupid, but I wanted him to be safe. I wanted to come with him; I wanted to make sure he was ok. I knew for a fact that Hermione and Ron would be with him, they were everywhere he was.

For once I wanted to be in on his plans and know what they were up to but I guess that can't happen, plus I think he's going to ask Ginny's hand in marriage when he gets back from wherever he is, I wonder when that will be He seems to have lost a part of himself because he's no longer the Harry I use to pass in the halls of Hogwarts.

I loved talking to him; we had started after the meeting in the bridal shop. That was about three weeks ago, that equals fifteen letters. I wonder how Harry explains my letters to Ginny and with that thought I smile and snuggle deeper into my blue bedspread. The image of her hurt face was a thought I relished; I can be so vindictive when I want to be.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

What am I doing? Sending letters to Cho Chang isn't something that I should be doing but I can't help it. Talking to her is a bit freeing, she doesn't know what's going on to the full extent so she doesn't really ask me a lot of questions and I like not having to say "I'm fine" every five seconds. We talk about the mundane and the trivial, like which one of us would win if we had a swimming contest or who can eat the most whipped cream but then that got a lot of adult associated thoughts into my head, even now I still have the picture of her caked in whipped cream in my head.

Most times I think about how this affects my relationship with Ginny and then I remember, I have no relationship with Ginny and the monster inside me does nothing. Sometimes I berate myself for the things I talk about with Cho buts it's just so much easier to talk to her than any other person, I wish I could talk to my dad or Sirius but they're dead.

It's weird how I can think about such random things and look like I having a great time eating Mrs. Weasley's sweet cakes. I want to go to my room in the Weasley house but they are throwing me a belated birthday party because I had to send my real birthday with the Dursley's, yesterday. Soon it would be time to open the presents and I could sleep, Merlin knows I need it.

An owl flew in through the window and landed on the back of my chair, I knew the owl. It was Cho's; she probably thought it would be safer to give me a present after my birthday because I would most likely be by myself and the security of night was a bonus. The Weasley's looked over in surprise and I smiled, how do I get out of this? Obviously I'll have to lie but it will be hard to lie to Mrs. Weasley, the woman was a human lie detector.

I look up at the bird and saw the small decorated package it carried; the bird looked down at me expectantly. I sigh and took the package and the owl flew off. I pretend I don't know who the package was sent by and look all round the edges as if trying to find something; the Weasley family continued it's staring.

"Who's it from Harry, dear?" Mrs. Weasley asked in her most maternal voice. I shrugged a quick shrug and continued to eat my dinner.

"Maybe you should open it, to see if there's a card inside," Hermione jumped in, what do they care who I get a gift from? Nowadays it seems the simplest thing got me annoyed.

"I'll open it with you guy's presents," I said hoping to appease their curiosity. It seems it did as they all returned to their dinner, eating a bit faster than before I noticed. Before I knew it dinner was over and we all seated in the living room and I was grabbing presents at random.

I got a lovely assortment of presents this year: The usual from Hermione, book, books and more books. When will she get I don't care for reading? I don't hate it, I just don't love it as much as she does, and why does she have to be so damn pushy? Where did that come from?I asked myself as I put away Hermione's gift, War and Peace. Why would I want to read about death and destruction on my birthday? Way to go Hermione, I smiled down at her as she looked expectantly at me, as if waiting for me to pull the book out and read it this point in time.

I move on to Ron's gift, another book of Quidditch this year a new twist; it's not about the Cannons. The art to cheating in Quidditch witch weekly's book of the month. A little off color for Ron but it should be fun to read no less. I moved on and on, going slow in hopes they forget that I hadn't opened Cho present. I opened Ginny's last, it seemed fit.

It was cute, like a five your old she looked expectantly at me; I smiled, I was all smiles lately. Ginny had gotten me a ring, a cute plain silver ring, charming. But what am I going to do with hand jewelry? I smiled again and hugged her thanking her at the same time.

"I really like it," came out of my mouth before I knew it.

"I thought about getting you something else but I guess this is just to remember me by," she said as if knowing the thoughts running through my head, you have to love a girl that can be in your head—well, most of the time.

"It's perfect," lies, lies, lies; that's all that comes out of my mouth every second. I couldn't tell her I thought jewelry was for girls, I couldn't tell her I didn't want to be here, I couldn't tell her I was thinking perverse thoughts about my ex. So every time I spoke another lie spews out; it's an indescribable feeling, not being able to control your body and mind because if I could I'd never wake up when I go to sleep.

Hermione grabbed Cho's gift and was about to rip it open when I yanked it out of her hand, I glared at her and held the box close to me. That was it; I couldn't even open my present? It was ludicrous! I sat back on the floor, crossed my legs and slowly opened the package; why the hell were they so on edge.

"Shouldn't we check if it's jinxed?" Hermione says out of no where. I looked surprised and the wheels in my head began to spin and thoughts became more lucid; get Ron and Hermione into an argument, distracting everyone from the present.

"I don't think we need to check, _do you Ron_?" I asked as I looked expectantly over at him. He looked up from his third slice of cake and looked over in confusion, obviously he wasn't even paying attention, food was in front of him and that was good with him. He nodded his head; "when in doubt, say yes" was Ron's stand by rule; lucky me.

"I mean come on, do we really need one?" he asked and went back to his cake. Hermione became angry and I concentrated on the present, first removing the paper. I did it in one motion; the package wasn't that big. The present was a box; _not more jewelry!_ I thought as I saw the velvety black box. I quickly opened it and inside was a sliver key with gold engraving. I quickly closed the box and slipped it inside my robe and stood up.

"Well, I'm pretty worn out, night everyone. Thank you for the lovely party," I said as I made my way up the stair and into Percy's old room. I threw myself on the bed and took out the key and box. I looked at it for a while and then turned it over to read the engraftment.

**I'm listed**

My eyes widened in surprise; did she want me to visit her?

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Six months and nothing, was an owl too much to ask for? I boldly gave him a key and expected something. After two months I gave up hope that he was in Brittan, after three I gave up hope he would visit, after four I just sulked around. I had started dating again, his name was George. I met him while in New York on business.

I have finally found a job. Mama and Papa are really happy for me and I'm quite happy too. I opened my own store, a clothing store, what a surprise you must be thinking but I really like working with my hands and I'm pretty creative when I want to be. Plus with my Ravenclaw abilities I can operate my business much better than a normal person.

Anyhow, his name is George and he's really nice, funny and pretty smart. He's about two years older than me. When I met him I was totally focused on Harry so I didn't even realize when my thoughts slipped from Harry to George. Then I'd berate my self for feeling guilty about thinking about George. Then we were hanging out one Saturday at his place and we kissed… a lot.

We were just watching TV (he's muggle) and he started tickling me and I tickled him back and then I was lying next to him on the couch and we kissed. The kiss was okay, he's not great but not totally bad. My mind was on so many things when his lips touched mine. I find that weird. I was thinking about everything but him and I kept opening my eyes. I must be a lousy kisser, too.

Then we broke up and got back together and then we broke up again! Now he visits me and I can't stand it, he's annoying the hell out of me! He takes my stuff and hides it, he's where ever I am, and I think he's stalking me. I wish I could just tell him to go away, well; a bit more vulgar than that. Now that we're not dating I can't see why we were ever together or why I liked him in the first place; now all my energy will be here when I get word of Harry.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

It was terrible; it was like being in hell and heaven at the same time. There they were, standing waiting for me but I can't move; who to choose? Ginny who's always been in love with me, Ginny who waited six years for me? Or Cho who I've been crushing after since I was thirteen? Wow, I sound so young, crushing. It's hard to believe after what's happened to me I can be this impractical, here I am captured, tortured and beaten yet I'm thinking about asinine thinks such as girls.

Voldemort captured me, during a small battle, rather than kill me he's kept me here and tortured me for information, asinine questions and the same all around bullshit mind games. He hasn't tried to get into my head and it's a good thing because then he might discover my thoughts of Cho—and Ginny.

I can take the beatings, I just want out of here: they've put me in a window less space, it's damp, and smells a foul smell, there is also a beaten man next to me, he's been like that since I got in here. I just need fresh air! Small foot steps alerted me to my hourly beating; they were upset to why I had not made more noise the first time they tortured me so they torture me every hour, I'm sure if they were a second late Voldemort would torture them, too.

Each hour it was different Death eater and each time they stare at me in contempt, I wonder why Voldemort hasn't had his turn at me yet. I heard the door opened up and in came two masked death eater, their white masks in place. They grunted for me to follow them and I sneer in return. I got up and walked out of the cell. I didn't try to escape, why should I? If I tried about three hundred Death eaters will be on my tail and they know the area more than I do.

After a series of turns we arrived at the room, their torture room. Sticking to Pureblood policy everything was medieval style. I stood getting my mind ready for the physical and verbal abuse. I can take what ever they send my way but being here; trapped isn't something I'm up to. I began to wonder where Hermione and Ron were. It had been two days since I was captured and I couldn't take the solitude anymore; I hadn't tried to Apparate out because Voldemort had most likely had charms placed around it to prevent any one from Apparating.

The bigger of the two Death eaters's pushed me forward and a cloaked Death eater step out of the shadows and soon I was encircled in a circle of Death eaters. They slowly removed their hoods to reveal white masks. The lighting bright, the air stale and foul to my nose, they jeered and mocked me. They were loud; seems as if it was my last night but I knew I couldn't die, not by any Death eaters' hand. I wished I had my wand but Voldemort took it from me the first night I was here.

"Prepare for sport Gentlemen…ladies!" Said a hissing voice from the chair above everyone; Voldemort.

"Young Harry will due battle with the man that killed the old codger; Dumbledore," he was suddenly beside me, his lipless face sneering at me. The man in front of me lowered his hood and looked upon me with the same cold, lifeless black eyes as he had done so many times in the past six years.

My heart swelled with hate and vengeance; Snape! He was going to wish he's never met me but I guess he already does. I wish I had my wand, and then I could show him a thing or two. I don't care if he invented those spells; I still felt dirty and betrayed but if they help me defeat their creator victory would be all the more sweet. I looked at him and stepped a bit closer.

"So ready to die eh, Potter?" he spat my last name with unmasked fury. My nose flared in a very McGonallgall like way and I sneered in return.

"If I die it won't be by the likes of you, _Snivellus_," I hiss in retaliation, my face so close to him I could see every wrinkle in his greasy face; I could almost feel his oily hair on my nose.

"I've always wondered if all Gryffindors are as stupid as they act, judging by your family I'd say three out of four proves me right," he gave me one last look of distain and circled me like the over grown bat he is.

"Realize that you are no longer a teacher and I am no longer a student, six years of hate will not be quelled because Dumbledore asked me to control myself. I will do everything I've dreamt of doing since I was eleven. I may have been young when I met you but I knew you didn't like me, the every instant I walked into that dungeon you never let up on me and I never under stood why, I still don't but I could care less.

"I hope you burn in hell for what you did, I hope you're eaten alive by raging giants, better yet I wish I could kill you myself, watch as you plead to me and hear me say the words that end your life you stinking pile of—"I was interrupted by Voldemort who had let the conversation go on without interruption.

"How about we get on with the show, Harry? Severus? **Good**! I don't need petty things being discussed **before **the blood shed!" and he stalked to the side lines with the other Death eaters with a swish of his robe. I sneered and yelled,

"This isn't a fair duel, he has a wand and I don't," Voldemort looked at me and his red eyes narrowed in hate.

"I could just kill you now, I've been debating about it seen my return but being the gracious man I am I have let you live! Boy, I am giving you life! Be grateful!" and suddenly I felt the air leave my lungs and I couldn't breathe, everything was going dark and out of focus after a few seconds. I was gulping like a fish out of water but I could get any air into my lungs, it was like when I had taken Gilly Weed.

And then she came to me, it was like a dream of vengeance and chance, just to show me she could do it; I saw professor Trelawney. Her hair wild and frizzy, her colorful clothes and loud beads making me see and hear her clearly. Her hands were held out for me and I wondered what she wanted but then I noticed she was pointing in every direction.

"_Escape...boy you must escape for surely they will kill you, parade your bones as proof that they can not be stopped, escape and go to where is safest_," she said in her earthy voice as if she was in her trance, she then faded as I began to breathe.

I gasped as I made my way from the floor I looked around me and saw I was still captured and there was no Trelawney, I was still in the torture room. I hold my self up and began to think, I pretended to be disorientated and looked all around me for a way to escape. I saw many Death eaters all around me and I was mad because I had to admit I was starting to feel scared, an emotion I thought I had lost when Ginny and I broke up.

Suddenly I didn't care about extracting my revenge upon Snape, he would have to wait. Better to be alive to fight another day than to foolishly go into a battle I will loose; there were so many of them and only one of me. I decided to see if Voldemort had made this room to stop Apparition but I needed my wand. How stupid of me to be thing about it but it was the first magical thing I've had; it was special, even if its brother was a killer.

"Will you be a good boy now?" Voldemort asked in his hissing sing-song voice.

"Be fair and give me my wand, I want to kill the man that destroyed my life with his sneering lips," I turned from Voldemort to Snape who's lips did an up turn as he pointed his wand on me and gave me a look that said if Voldemort allowed him he'd kill me within that instant**_  
_**

****

****

**_It was that moment where I could say "I love you" without feeling the burden of my broken heart but I too afraid to ruin the moment as my back was slammed in my kitchen wall, he was being so rough, what a sight to see, me panting for breath, him with his arms over my head, his face inches from mine, his eyes sparkling like mad. My stomach was in a knot with anticipation; what would he do? _**

**_Would he hold me in his arms and ravish me until I screamed his name, or would he take me slowly, pushing me over the edge, daring me to ask for more? Did he forget Ginny? Come to me because he loved me? He looked down at me and I tried to kiss him, just another kiss—I had missed him so much in the last six and a half months—but he turned his head and denied me the things I had waited months for, answers and the taste of his flesh._**

_**It was then when I thought all hope for us was lost when I whispered "I love you" and hugged him tightly.**_

"_**Why don't you love me, too?" I asked as I felt the need to cry.**_

"_**Am I not good enough? Am I too pushy? Not pretty? Tell me because I love you so much and it hurts to not know how you feel. Is there even a chance for a relationship with you? Am I just wasting my time? Tell me! Help me, I need you!" I told him as I cried and he wrapped his arms around me.**_

_**And again I was slammed into the wall, though this time his lips were feverishly kissing mine. Oh! To feel his lips, so warm and smooth, roughly making there way onto my own, his tongue course and swift sliding into my mouth; he was moving so fast it was hard to react.**_

**hello hi my name is Mary and I'm an addict**

**I've been sober now for...24 hours**

**I jus have some issues **

**_He was there and so was I, this was most likely another dream but I would enjoy it._**

**I jus took some benzedrine Percoset codeine**

**dusted up smoked some weed candy flipped**

**and popped in Visine**

**_His hands roamed my body in a heated passion, he was eager and a bit angry; why?_**

**so my timing may be off I vaporize to fuel the cough**

**adrenaline is pressuring Doctor bring the medicine**

**some ketamine Vicodin Xanax and anthrax**

**I'm hiding all my needle tracks I'm fighting off heart attacks**

**nosebleeds cheap speed shitty weed all seed**

_**I stopped thinking, his hands felt way too good. **_

**gettin frisky dirty deeds sippin whiskey on my knees**

**about to burn out crooked mouth turned out on anotha bout**

_**The taste of him was gone and somewhere in my mind I knew he wasn't real but I wasn't ready to wake up yet.**_

**I'm chillin in a glass house pourin anotha glass out**

**I'm goin in my stash now there ain't nothin I ain't usin**

**GHB LSD Valium and Ecstasy**

_**In the lands of dreams he was mine for once, I didn't have to watch as he was with another. **_

**Pop mescaline with Mexicans put ether in my napkin**

**I've got so many skeletons I'm a chemical reaction**

**I'm pissed off pissed on express addiction through this song**

**half my memory is gone the X in me lets me belong**

_**I had half forgotten what it was like, to be taken over completely by lust, love and happiness. **_

_**I can't help but 2 help myself I'm losing my mind I need help**_

**_filling my mind with doubt I'd do anything to get out_**

**5 AM fully geeked sweat tricklin down my cheek**

**mouth bone dry can't even speak the cover girl for heroin chic**

**the enemy inside of me pressures me intentionally**

**coke wench tweeker bitch cocktease**

_**His hands roamed my sides and I urged my self not to giggle. He was mine and I would show him why I was better than anyone else.**_

**best friend park bench make the switch some of these**

**a few of them I wake up bent my money spent**

**how'm I gonna pay my rent**

_**And so I kissed him back, with more passion than I could express with my words, with my voice and maybe even my thoughts because it was so hard to sum up my feelings for him.**_

**my sugar daddy needs the ends**

**my dealer is my new best friend**

**waking up in strangers' beds with these voices in my head**

_**My hands took their turn, raping his body as he took the abuse with sighs and moans of pleasure. I would show him who was better.**_

**drunk slut coke blunts junkie bitch bathroom bumps**

**homeless broken out of luck and really jus don't give a fuck**

**uneffective unemployed unstable null and void**

_**I told myself to slow down but there was no stopping me, I like a woman gone mad with pleasure and hope. He was here for me! My love had come for me.**_

**my vanity has been destroyed the famine keeps me paranoid**

**blacked out white lines highballs crooked spine**

**comatose overdose took it to the borderline**

_**It was a bad path; to love someone this much but it was his fault, and my own. It was both our faults and I was okay with that.**_

**sirens ambulance doctors cuttin off my pants**

**black & blue in ICU I've got a 50/50 chance**

**_His lips found my neck and I stood with my back to the wall, how sweet to be in love and in the moment._**

**I can't help but to help myself I'm losing my mind I need help**

**filling my mind with doubt I'd do anything to get out**

**_I found myself in my bedroom our bodies moving at a fast pace, time was just too slow to catch us; we were moving lightening and I felt all powerful; help._**

**dope fiend quarantine feed me caffeine nicotine**

**trade it for some Thorazine morphine or dopamine**

**itchy veins Novocaine stop these voices in my brain**

**_Lock me away for after this I may never look at any man without burning vivid scarlet, remembering the night my love came for me, took me away to passion_.**

**as my muscles start to strain help me Lord am I insane**

**fix me quick suck my dick your counseling makes me sick**

**answer me where's my shit tell me what you did with it**

_**I would forever be happy remembering this moment for I am loved, even for just a while. I moan and move in pleasure but there is no stopping. **_

**I can't stop shaking feel my twitch**

**I can't stop shaking feel my twitch**

**I can't stop shaking feel my twitch**

**I hate you all you fuckin bitch**

_**May we move the earth with our sounds and movements for in this moment we are too powerful to be real; even for a witch and a wizard.**_

**I can't help but to help myself I'm losing my mind I need help**

**filling my mind with doubt I'd do anything 2 get out**

And then the soft knock of my bedroom door caught my attention and I was forcible taken from my day dream, who would disturb as I was having such sweet carnal thoughts of Harry? I sighed and with out thinking got to the door and thought that if mama—it would mostly be mama because she had a key—came in she could just open the door, maybe dad came too.

And I opened the door with smiling face to greet my mother and hopefully father but I meet the dark emerald eyes of my—Harry. I stared openly in shock, he looked so sad, and alone, I stepped aside in my daze and let him.

"Sorry about the hour," he said, standing in the room awkwardly.

"How?" I asked not sure he would understand but then he held out the key. I felt so foolish, I blush a deep red that I was sure made my body catch fire or maybe it was Harry intense gaze.

"Oh," I said weakly. I noticed the key still held out and I shook my head and I felt my blush grow, crawling deep into my skin.

"When ever you need me, just come; keep it," I said not looking at him, I looked behind me into the kitchen and thought of the passion kissed we had shared in my imagination. I turned and looked at him and felt my heart ice over.

"What brings you here?" after six months I thought to myself. Jerk. Coming by unexpected, well there would be no kissing in the dark for him! He looked really sad and I couldn't even stay mad at him for another second before I ran to him and cried, god why can't I stop crying; I know he doesn't like it.

"I'm sorry, It's just I hadn't heard anything for almost seven months and so many thoughts came to my head and I was afraid and worried. I was afraid I'd never see you, I couldn't stop the bad thoughts and I felt so helpless," I said as I backed away and looked up at him, he being a few inches taller than me. It was after hugging him I took in his appearance, he was dirty, black robes slightly wet and muddy, crimson blood on the edges of his sleeves. I looked at him in surprise and scanned to see if he was injured but he didn't look to be in any pain.

"Would you like to take a bath?" I asked my voice low and hesitant as he was being so silent, did he hate me? He nodded his head and I pointed out the room and to the left, he walked somewhat unsteadily towards the bathroom and I looked at his retreating back and heard the swish of the closing door wishing I was could join him.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**AN:How do you like it? I took some of my real experiences and put them in here. I wanted to show the hurt side of Cho and the Intellectual side of Harry. There will be days where all that comes out of my mouth is a lie; my "aunt" (she's not really my aunt but a friend of my mothers that likes me to call her aunt, it fucking pisses me off, I have REAL aunts, Gawd!) calls me a fucking obitual liar, no idea what that means. **

**But that's what Harry is, BAD HARRY! No lying! any ways, it means (I think) we lie about everything, like the color of a pen will be green we'll say it's yellow, that is in my case; in Harry's he'll just lie to make people feel better even when it's not necessary.**

**I also dated a guy named George, fucking annoying, wanted to have sex every second and didn't understand "no". And he had the most annoying laugh! And he shows off whenever I'm around, gawd, it never uses to bother me but now it does. That was in there because once in a while if a relationship isn't working we'll move on, especially if the other can't commit, that's what Cho and I did, we picked crappy choices. Crappy!**

**Anyways, the day dream…I do this all the time, I'll dream about "Kim Possible" or day dream, and it will be so rough and sweet and it would open up my eyes to other sides of him. So that's why that was in there, Cho had an epiphany, though it's not evident yet. **

**Well, this chapter was about ten and a half pages not including my AN so yes! Sorry for the long wait, life's been crappy lately and I've been stuck in a rut, it goes like this:**

_Go to school_

_Buy breakfast_

_Hate science teacher_

_Hate science teacher_

_Wish he was dead_

_Dream of kicking him in the balls_

_Make asinine comments behind his back_

_Go home_

_Computer_

_Try to write_

_Bath_

_Redo._

Maybe a little TV, RUNT!

Well, with me being in a runt make me happy and review, if only for my well being or to point out my errors, that always cheers me up; pointing out someone's faults, jokingly—of course.

REVIEW!

Ps. The song was called Rehab by Marry Madalan. I no owe.

Finished November 4th, 2006, Saturday.


	5. You're so Hypnotic on My Heart

**And It Shall Come**

_Chapter 5_

_You're so Hypnotic on My Heart_

After Harry goes into the bathroom I am at a loss at what to do. So I leave my room and go into the kitchen to make a sandwich. I sit on the island in the kitchen and watched my door as I take bites out of my chicken sandwich. After about twenty minutes Harry comes out wearing my bathrobe. I put my sandwich down and smiled at him.

"I'm sorry, but it was all I could find in there." He says as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"No worries. I'll-um- find you something."

I run my fingers through my hair and hop down the counter, I go into my bedroom and rummage my drawers and try to find something for him. A minute later I go back to him and hand him a plain T-Shirt and a pair of boxers. Harry pauses for a moment and he looks pained.

"Harry, are you okay?"

"I should go." And he's turning to leave and I hurry to block his exit.

"What's wrong? I don't understand what's happening!" I'm so startled at how upset I am feeling.

"It's just I come back and you've got some other guys boxers at your place and you're trying to give them to me. It just makes me wonder who the hell he is. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you—and, and—you've got some other guys—it's like Michael Corner all over again! You went out with him like a week after we'd broken up! Is this what you normally do? Bloody hell, why would you give me some bloke's—" he stopped as I shoved him really hard.

"Bugger off, Harry! Like damn!" I am so flustered I choke up; I hate that my voice is quivering.

"First of all, you show up bloody and bruised after months of no contact and you're upset with me? You have no right! Second of all, what was I supposed to do? Wait around for a guy that doesn't write, doesn't call, and –oh yeah! Don't you have a girlfriend?—No! I'm not done. Third, you broke up with me! I was sixteen and hurt. And you moved on, too! So don't give me shit for it! And lastly, those boxers: I bought them to sleep in because they feel nice against my skin. So, once again, Harry, screw you." I made my way the counter to finish my sandwich.

"Cho, I'm such a—"

"—Asshole?"

"Completely, I was just—I don't have a girlfriend…I'm sorry," He comes to stand across the counter from me.

"I know I haven't always acted my age but—I—I—" and I started to cry. I wanted to say that I loved him and that I had been waiting for him, just passing the time with inconsequential things; that I had been saving myself for him for what feels like ever. His hand grasps mine across the counter and I made my way around to him. And for a moment I was tired of reaching out to him; he was always so clueless about how things like this worked, especially back in Hogwarts. But all I wanted was to know he cared, for him to reach out to me and show me.

"Harry, where have you been?" I meant it in everyway a person can imagine. He was silent until he realized I wasn't going to give up.

"I've been on the run with Hermione and Ron for months. A few days ago we got caught by some snatchers. We got separated for a few days; I escaped a few hours ago and here I am." He wasn't looking at me properly so I figured there was more he wasn't telling me.

"Do you have any idea where Ron or Hermione are?"

"All the snatchers realized who I was and I told them to escape but I just don't know where they could be! I mean my house has been invaded by Death Eaters so they can't go there, and the Weasley home was invaded at Bill and Fleur's wedding so the whole family moved somewhere but I don't know where." And he sat on the couch with his head in his hands.

"Why don't you get some sleep, Harry" I started to make my way to my bedroom.

"Cho…" his voice was sad

"Yes, Harry?" I stop and turn to face him. He looks lost.

"I really am sorry," and I nodded.

"I'll see you in the morning, ok?" after he nodded I went to bed. A part of me vaguely wondered if he would still be there when I woke up.

* * *

He was. I came out of my room the next morning dressed and ready to face Harry, or an empty house; either one. But he was in the kitchen cooking, when I poked my head in to check, I couldn't help but smile. From what I could smell and see he had already fried eggs and was cooking bacon.

"Morning," I said as I sit on a stool of the island. Harry looks up briefly and mumbles a hello. I pause for a moment.

"I was thinking," I said to break the silence.

"Uh, about what?" he asks as he plates the food.

"My mother and father combined know almost everyone and everything," I pause here as I make my way to the refrigerator to get juice.

"My father works in the Ministry so if the Weasley's have other family members who own property the ministry will have to have it on record. My father says a lot of people are being watch so we'll have to be careful about how we go about this but I'm sure we can get to your friends that way. Unless they went off the map, which we can't even think about right now." I make my way over with two cups of juice.

"That's a good lead, but they probably have a charm on the place, they probably have a secret keeper and everything. What then?" he asks as he begins to forks eggs into his mouth.

"We'll deal with it. Even if we can't see them they can see us, right? I'll call my parents and it should take a day or two but until then you can stay in my house and lay low." I look up at him and he looking into my eyes, he was sad.

"Harry…"

"I—I'll be out of your hair soon" he says sadly. He starts playing with his glasses as if he needs to keep busy.

"Oh, Harry. Can't you see?" I hop off the stool and head to the living room and drop into the cushions. He had to know how I felt by now! Moments later he sits next to me and I felt sixteen again, sitting, wishing, hoping he would notice me, kiss me, anything. And his hand made its way around my nape while his other hand rested on my side. His thumb is stroking my neck, my chin, my ear. He leaned in while my lashes slid shut.

And it was what I'd been wanting for months! As his lips kissed my face, my ears, and then my lips, I felt the heat on my skin. When his lips rested against mine I finally kissed him back, and felt the heat of our tongues coming together. Hot and sweet, and exactly what I wanted, I was shaking with pleasure.

We separated for a moment and I looked into his eyes as we both took mouthfuls of air. His eyes were locked into mine; his pupils were dilated, and they seemed brighter than I'd ever seen them. I was still breathing hard.

"I love you," and I couldn't help the little intake of breath that came after, and then I started choking. He just sits there as I bury my face into the back of the couch, trying to muffle the sounds, or suffocate, I can't tell. The words had been building up in my head; they started out low but grew louder with time until it just slipped out. I finally stop what I was doing but I can't find the strength to look Harry in the face.

"Cho…" what have I done?

"I really like you…it's just, to be honest I don't really know what love is." My head jerks up and I see that he's having a hard time. I wait.

"I mean, no one has ever loved me, not that I can remember really. I mean there was Sirius and my parents and I'm sure Lupin cares about me but I've never had a lot of affection as a child and—and, I'm mucking this up." He puts his hands over his face and sighs in frustration. I really just never wanted to discuss this moment ever. A part of me understood what he was saying; how could he know what love was when he's only had glimpses of what it is like but on the other hand it would have been lovely if he had said it back…

"I get it, Harry…Lets just forget it, okay?" I got up before he could say anything. I went to my bedroom to grab my phone and call my parents.

* * *

**AN: **Long time no see? This is just a little something. I know this is one of my stories with the least following but it spoke to me after so long. I'll be trying to update my other ones soon so don't forget about me, kay?

Rae : )

Thursday January 6, 2011


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